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JL says, “I have full custody of both my children and do everything in my power to protect them from the repercussions of this situation.When the sheriff’s office makes the monthly visit confirming my residency, I tell my girls, ‘The police just check on everyone,’ and they’ve never questioned it.” She does not state how she plans to handle this issue when her girls are older.“For the most part, people have never come up to me directly and shamed me to my face.They do it behind my back.” She then adds, “I really haven’t lost many friends, and for the ones I have lost, I have gained even more.Another major issue for JL is not being able to go on field trips with her girls or to participate in other activities that other parents can enjoy without restriction.“That makes my heart hurt, for my kids and for me.”ST says a comprehensive psychosexual evaluation conducted at the state’s request several months after his arrest concluded that he did not have a sexual interest in minors, nor did he show any sexually deviant tendencies.
My sister just avoids the topic altogether.” He adds, “It’s been about 15 years now, and I think I’ve finally re-earned their trust, meaning they’re no longer nervous I’ll do something that will get me arrested again. I don’t know.”JL says she has a great relationship with her mother.
My brother has been the most nonjudgmental and available, and although we both have very different worldviews, I’ve appreciated his willingness to talk whenever I’ve reached out to him.” He notes that his ex-wife has been his strongest supporter.
“Of everyone affected by the horrible choice I made that resulted in me having to register, she, without a doubt, has the right to hate me the most. Words cannot begin to describe how much that has meant to me.”Both JL and ST are parents, and that is complicated by their status as a registered offender.
I have also had my car and my home vandalized because of it.
However, I am active in 12-step recovery for both sexual addiction and substance abuse, and the people in those programs are usually pretty accepting.“She’s never judged me through this whole situation, and she definitely doesn’t agree with me being on the registry.” JL says that her relationship with her father, however, has been strained.“I feel like he thinks a lot about my kids and how they will be affected by this as they get older.Now, five-plus years removed from my offense, only two of those people have chosen to stay in touch with me.” He says that since his arrest, “I haven’t had a single day where I’ve met up with someone to watch a ballgame, hang out at the beach, or grab a bite to eat or a drink. DG and ST both admit they have struggled with this, but for different reasons. I seem to think that nobody would want to date me because I am a sex offender.